THEY ALL HOLD their breath when Josh Allenâ¯goes rogue.â¯Theyâ¯can always see it coming.â¯He'll be a little laggy at the start of a game, his legsâ¯twitchyâ¯and his brain unfocused, andâ¯that's when they knowâ¯-- and fear --â¯what's comingâ¯next.â¯He'll stand before them in the huddle and getâ¯a certain look in his eye or a tone in his voice. They justâ¯shrug inside and think,â¯Oh, well. Here we go.
Maybe he'll call a play and then change the protection at the line to make sure he puts himself one-on-one with aâ¯defensive end.â¯Maybe he'llâ¯drop backâ¯andâ¯hold on to the ball a split-second longer than necessary. Maybeâ¯he'll run around like a flag in a hurricane andâ¯stay in bounds one or two stridesâ¯beyond comfort, justâ¯longâ¯enough toâ¯take a hit. Whatever form it takes, they'llâ¯watch it unfold and think,â¯Uh-oh. Good luck, Josh.
Everyone has their motivations.â¯Some guys like to close their eyes and envision the game unfolding in their mind. Someâ¯scream and yell and listen to music that sounds like aâ¯bandsaw going through sheet metal. Some, like Allen, simply need to take aâ¯hit, to feel alive and engaged, to give the game its shapeâ¯and lifeâ¯itsâ¯purpose.
"Does it scare me, his running around?" asksâ¯Billsâ¯left tackle Dion Dawkins. "Hell yeah.â¯Hell yeah.â¯When we see Josh taking off and hurdling people and running over people, it's a scary thing. He's a big kid, but sometimes that kid stuff doesn't transfer. Yeah, you're a big kid. We get it. But if you fall, we all fall.â¯It's scary as hell, and we can't hit him and say, 'There, you got your hit in.' Because what ifâ¯weâ¯hurt him?"
Even in ourâ¯quarterback-centric universe,â¯Allenâ¯is uniquelyâ¯tethered toâ¯this team, this region, the elusive goal of winning a Super Bowl.â¯"He's everything," Dawkins says, andâ¯general manager Brandon Beane says his quarterback "wants to show his teammates he's willing to doâ¯anything."â¯The trick is to determine, often in a split-second,â¯the moments whenâ¯those two concepts collide, whenâ¯doingâ¯anything gets in the way of beingâ¯everything.
It's a lot ofâ¯psychic responsibility, all this shouldering of hopes and expectations.â¯"He's here for a reason," Dawkins says, "they want him to hold that trophy up."â¯Theâ¯anything and everythingâ¯of itâ¯expands every year,â¯a tide threatening to breach the banks. The Bills have a new, Allen-friendly head coach in 36-year-old Joe Brady, a sparkling new $2.1 billion stadium, and the sameâ¯unshakeable shadow of history pressed against them. Every year is The Yearâ¯They Finally Win a Super Bowl, until it isn't.â¯This year, however, feelsâ¯different,â¯like an inflection point,â¯not now-or-never, but close.
Fairly or not, the final judgment will land on one man: Allen. It's the world he has created.
THERE ISâ¯DEFINITELY aâ¯love-hate thing going on with the Bills and Allen when it comes to hisâ¯insistence on affirming humanity's reckless potential.â¯Dawkins adopts a low, conspiratorial toneâ¯and says, "I got toâ¯admit:â¯I love to see it."â¯Whenever Allen gets popped, his linemenâ¯sprint to be the first to pick him up, all the while hoping he remains able to be picked up.â¯This is their guy, and if he's going to run over a linebacker rather than step out of bounds, who are they to argue?
"It gets me going," guard Alec Anderson says. "I'm like,â¯Yes!â¯He brings the energy and the rest of us have to say, 'Oh, s---, Josh is into it,â¯so I have to step my game up.'â¯Yes,â¯quarterbacksâ¯areâ¯supposed to be the trophyâ¯of the team, but I like the face ofâ¯myâ¯franchise to have a little dirt on it."
Andâ¯soâ¯he'll take off,â¯eliciting whatever range of emotionsâ¯occur within each man,â¯running in that upright, draft-horse way.â¯His speed, even nine years into this, retains its ability to surprise. It'sâ¯a little like watching a fish swim through refracted water,â¯hisâ¯6-foot-5, nearly 240-poundâ¯bodyâ¯always just aâ¯stride or two ahead ofâ¯where your eyesâ¯think it should beâ¯-- right up to the point he slams his body into another human.
"Itâ¯drives us guys up front," center Connor McGovern says.â¯"If you see all the stuff he does, like how fearless and what some people might call him stupid for wanting to take hits.â¯We love it."
Allen isâ¯trying. Lord knows he's trying.â¯It's just ... it's just hard.â¯There's a constant playfulness in his dark brown eyes, like he's aware that he has conquered the world and he's just trying to figure out how far he can take it.â¯Sometimes long-term consequences and deductive reasoning can hold his beer.â¯He's 30 now,â¯a big kid with the face of an older man beginning to push its way through,â¯andâ¯he knowsâ¯NFLâ¯â¯indestructibility isâ¯both myth and lie.â¯He's heard it from all of them -- Brady, Beane,â¯most of his less-enthused teammates: Don't risk it. Don't riskâ¯us.
"Iâ¯thinkâ¯I might be past that pointâ¯of needing to be hit," Allen says, not at allâ¯convincingly.â¯"I might just have my linemen push me around a little bit, maybe hit my pads. I'm trying not to get hit as much as possible now.â¯I know it jazzes them up, but yeah -- gottaâ¯get up."
But here's the problem: This is who he is.â¯If the things we love tell us what we are, Allen is a guy whoâ¯happens to love running into linebackersâ¯and telling off-color jokes and pulling pranks on everyone in the organization.â¯He's aâ¯risk-takerâ¯who, remarkably, has not missed a game since 2018,â¯a former league MVP who still plays and actsâ¯like he's stuck somewhere between seventhâ¯and 10thâ¯grade. He'sâ¯a guy who played through a partial tear of the UCL in his throwing elbow in 2022, a guy who missed two plays with a broken noseâ¯last season, a guy McGovern says has played through "stuff" that nobody outside the locker room will ever know.â¯"As longâ¯asâ¯17 is out there, I'm going,"â¯McGovernâ¯says. "Nothing else matters."
Allen'sâ¯blend of fearlessness and recklessness -- for better, for worse -- is part of what endearsâ¯him to his team and its fans.â¯Thereâ¯are 53â¯Buffalo Bills, large men and fast men and men whose athletic talents reside in the top .01% of the roughly 8.3 billionâ¯people on the planet, but theyâ¯are mere extras in a larger drama. Allen is the enduring hope forâ¯an entire region, the superstar who carries their hopes and dreams and burdens around as lightly as a child skipping through a park.
"He's the king of Western New York," McGovern says, "and he wears the crown well."
TO UNDERSTAND THE kingdom he has created, it's necessary to understand the kingdoms that created him.
It's jarring to drive around western New York and behold the pervasiveness of Bills paraphernalia,â¯andâ¯difficult to convey the level of fame Allen has attainedâ¯within it. It's not so much a fandom as a cultural force. Flags on cars, flags on houses, flags on businesses. Lawn buffaloes painted in Bills' colors, lawn buffaloes draped with No. 17 jerseys,â¯an untold number of posters hanging on an untold number of walls. A free public practice in mid-August attracted more than 41,000 fans on a Tuesday morning at 8:30, the traffic backing up through and around the residential streets surrounding Highmark Stadiumâ¯in Orchard Park. It only seemed likeâ¯40,999â¯of the attendees were wearing either a T-shirt or a jersey bearing 17.
It's aâ¯heavyâ¯load to bear, regardless of howâ¯lightlyâ¯the crownâ¯sits, and Allen showed as much last yearâ¯when he broke down in tearsâ¯afterâ¯the AFC divisionalâ¯overtimeâ¯loss to the Broncos.â¯The Bills are not simply an activity in Western New York,â¯they areâ¯perhaps the area's leadingâ¯secularâ¯institution,â¯andâ¯theâ¯allegianceâ¯to Allenâ¯manages to straddle the line betweenâ¯wholesome and cult-like.â¯("If there was something above king," Brady says, "Josh would beâ¯aboveâ¯that.") Allen has becomeâ¯a symbol ofâ¯Buffalo,â¯a post-industrial cityâ¯of prideful folks whoâ¯like it here andâ¯really don't careâ¯whether youâ¯understand why.
They relate to hisâ¯oft-toldâ¯backstory, unheralded coming out of high school in Firebaugh, a tinyâ¯Central Valley town near Fresno,â¯and then unheralded coming out of Reedley College, where he famously sent an email to every FBS head coach, offensive coordinator, defensive coordinator and position coachâ¯proclaiming himself to be "a great fit in your offensive scheme!" only to have two D1 programs -- Wyoming and Eastern Michigan -- make an offer. And Eastern Michigan ended up rescinding theirs.
"He's such a great fit for this city," says Del Reid, one of the founders of the Bills Mafia fan group. "The city has always had its underdog mentality, feeling like it's overlooked. We always ask: Is it appreciated for what it is? That's Josh's story, too, right?"
Allen's careerâ¯-- the 2024 MVP,â¯four Pro Bowls,â¯four 4,000-yard passing seasons -- represents the fulfillment of Beane'sâ¯post-draftâ¯prophecyâ¯that his quarterback is "the most Buffalo guy we could have drafted."â¯(Perhaps Beane felt compelled to make the case after Bills fans developed a bias against California quarterbacks following the long-ago flameouts of J.P. Losman, a first-round pick of the Bills, and Rob Johnson, whom the Bills acquired in a trade deal for a first-round pick to the Jaguars-a pick that became Fred Taylor.)â¯And somehow,â¯Allen hasâ¯managed to retainâ¯hisâ¯statusâ¯as Buffalo's ownâ¯even after marryingâ¯actress-singerâ¯Hailee Steinfeld and becoming half of the NFL's second-most famous, yet far less visible, A-list couple.
"Josh stays here,â¯that's why," Dawkins says.â¯"You stay in Buffalo, Buffalo humblesâ¯you. He doesn't rush to New York City to sit courtside. He doesn't rush to Vegas toâ¯a fight. He stays right here in Western New York, in his kingdom, and just chills."
But wait.â¯What if they win?â¯What ifâ¯heâ¯wins? Whatâ¯if Allen, in the prime of his prime at 30, leads the Bills to their first Super Bowl, washing awayâ¯decades of disappointment andâ¯fourâ¯straightâ¯Super Bowlâ¯losses in theâ¯1990s?
"What drives me?" Allenâ¯asks, repeating a question. "What drives me now is my family. Doing everything I can to be the best provider, bestâ¯husband,â¯best role model for my daughter. And number two would be bringing a Lombardi Trophy to Western New York."
The timing could be right.â¯Brady has infused the team with a festive spirit thatâ¯emphasizes appreciating, and celebrating, everyâ¯win, no matter how small.â¯Allen, scrupulously careful not toâ¯disparage former coach Sean McDermott, says, "I know guys are loose and feel great. They can be themselves -- not that they couldn't with Coach McDermott -- but it's a fresh vibe. There's some electricity here."
There'sâ¯also James Cook III, the NFL's leading rusher last season,â¯a pass rush that figures to be improved with the addition ofâ¯Bradley Chubb, and a new favorite targetâ¯for Allenâ¯in wide receiver DJ Mooreâ¯who was indoctrinated into his new world during a training camp practice, when Allen pulled him aside to introduce him to hisâ¯grandmother. "DJ, Grammy," Allen said. "Grammy, DJ."â¯Allen has already exorcised one lowercase demon; theâ¯36-31â¯win over the Texans in Week 1 was his first in Houston after four losses.
Allen and Steinfeld's first child, a girlâ¯named Harper Haize, was born in April, an eventâ¯that Allen says changed everything. Hisâ¯perspective shifted; it's not that he cares less about football, but he cares more aboutâ¯other things.â¯He admits it's a difficult concept to put into words, butâ¯he swearsâ¯focusing less on footballâ¯and more on his familyâ¯willâ¯create a better quarterback.
"I think it's made everything, not just football but everything in life, feel less important," Allen says. "My wife and daughter are my No. 1 priority. If they're OK, I'm OK. It doesn't matter what else is going on in my life, and that frees me up, 100 percent, to be the best teammate I can be. I just come out here and play football and have fun."
(Asked who is more famous, him or Steinfeld, Allen says, "Anyplace else in the world but here and it'sâ¯absolutely her.â¯It was obvious when we went to Paris a few years ago. Nobody there knowsâ¯football very well, but they know movie stars and they know pop stars, and my wifeâ¯justâ¯happens to be both.")
The lack of a Lombardi Trophy, and the quixotic quest toâ¯get one, is ingrained in the local psyche,â¯as much aâ¯part of the fabric of life as theâ¯bitterâ¯winters.â¯Butâ¯it's purely an external force; the players themselves didn't live through any of the heartbreak of the '90s. They carry no ancient burden.â¯Dawkins says, "Nah, no burden," and Allen says,â¯"I didn't grow up a Bills fan,â¯but there is that different history. We respect the history and the people who came before us, but we don't feel the past. We're focused on trying to create the future."
But just because theyâ¯profess notâ¯to be defined by it doesn't mean it's not there. There has never been a moreâ¯distinctâ¯line dividing the past and the future.â¯Across the way from the glossy new stadium,â¯which has been criticized forâ¯blocked sightlines and natural grass that thins in spots,â¯excavators plunge into the pile of rubble in the old one. Piles of concrete and steel and 52 years of memories are lifted off the ground, dropped into semis and driven off to be repurposed as something far less dramatic.â¯Everything is changing, so why not fate?
"I would love to lose my identity if that's the case,"â¯Reid saysâ¯with a laugh. "But we don't consider ourselves lovable losers. If the Bills win the Super Bowl, I guarantee nothing would change with our fervor. The moment Josh Allen lifts that Super Bowlâ¯trophy,â¯we'll just want another one."
ONE WAY TO counteract the weight of an entire region's history isâ¯toâ¯create aâ¯one-man microclimateâ¯of goofiness and good cheer.â¯McGovern describes⯠Allen'sâ¯sense of humor like this: "If you gave a 12-year-old unlimited money, he would have the same middle-school humor as Josh."â¯That sounded like an insult until I asked Allen himself, and he said,â¯"The comedy is stuck in a 12-year-old's mindset and will be forever."
Before his daughter was born, Allen conducted a running gag with a friend over FaceTime.â¯Three separate times Allen called and asked his friend if he was sitting down.â¯I've got big news,â¯Allen said, and each timeâ¯the friend got excited about potential baby news only toâ¯hear Allenâ¯laugh and say, "Gotcha." After the third call, the friend said, "Forget it. You're the boy who cried wolf. I'm not falling for it anymore."
After the baby was born,â¯Allenâ¯FaceTimedâ¯his friend while holding a swaddleâ¯acrossâ¯his chest.
"Dude, it's real this time."
Allenâ¯bounced his arms andâ¯looked down at the swaddle with a look of genuine pride.
"You want to see her?" Allenâ¯asked,â¯andâ¯proceeded to gradually fold back the swaddle to revealâ¯the face ofâ¯hisâ¯dog.
"I kept pulling the rug out on him, so even though the baby was born, I figured I'd do it one more time," Allen says. "That was a good one. And thenâ¯I showed him our baby, obviously."
Rookies areâ¯particularlyâ¯fertile groundâ¯for Allen's tween humor. Last season a rookie who shall not be named came into the huddle for the first time during training camp. Like most rookies, he was a bit starstruck, and so Allen decided to have fun.â¯He said, "OK, everybody -- on two!" and broke the huddle without calling a play. The rookie dutifullyâ¯clapped his hands andâ¯ranâ¯fromâ¯the huddle while the other 10 guys, all familiar with their quarterback'sâ¯schtick, burst into laughter.
"When a rookie goes into the huddle for the first time with Josh, you can see him losing brain cells," receiver Joshua Palmer says. "They get a little nervous."
Allen's gagsâ¯do not acknowledge hierarchy.â¯Brady was minding his own business, thinking about football stuff, as he walked into his makeshift office in a downtown Cleveland hotel before the Bills' second preseason game.â¯He turned on the light and closed the door. He was about to sit at the desk when he was wrapped in a bear hug.
Allen.
"I got him good," Allen says. "Scared the piss out of him." Brady, ever the coach,â¯spun it as a positive, callingâ¯it "a little scareâ¯-- he's got great timing, and heâ¯justâ¯knows how to keep you on your toes."
The problem: Nobody is ever completely sure when he's serious. There's a level of self-preservation involved in communicating with Allen. If he asks a question, nobody wants to answer it, fearing a setup. If he offers his opinion or advice, nobody wants to take it.
"I've come to grips with the fact that I made this bed and I have to sleep in it," he says. "Usuallyâ¯Iâ¯have toâ¯swear on a bible or my family to be taken seriously. Theyâ¯usually respect that. I wouldn't lie on those."
HOW DEEP DOES the devotion run?â¯From backyards to bedroom walls to the back seat ofâ¯Lou and Stacie McNett's car, where their 13-year-old daughter, Abbie,â¯hugs one of her ever-present Joshy Bears.â¯Theâ¯McNettsâ¯are driving home from a late August doctor's appointment in a good mood. They've experiencedâ¯too many rolling emotions over the past few years, and they've learned to appreciate the small victories.
Abbieâ¯has Down syndrome and a rare form of cancer called⯠alveolar rhabdomyosarcoma. Her parents bought her first Joshy Bear -- "for inspiration," Stacey says -- when Abbie spent three months in a New York City hospital in early 2022. After Abbie left the hospital and returned to Buffalo, she met Allen, gave him an "Abbie Bear" and had him sign her Joshy Bear. There are now three of each, with one Abbie Bear waiting at home with the McNetts, waiting to be delivered to Allen. Abbie has called Allen her best friend ever since their first meeting.
"The bears," Stacie says. "It's their thing. He goes everywhere with her."
Abbie has lived through several roundsâ¯of remission and recurrence.â¯Allen has helped celebrate the remissions -- heâ¯met with her last year when she reached a one-year milestone -- andâ¯comfort her when the cancer has been found to return.â¯"He's real," Stacie says. "That's the one thing I keep saying about him.â¯She is not very verbal, and he is always patientâ¯while he waits for her to talk.â¯When he is with her, it's not about us. It's all about Abbie."
When it was discovered that Abbie's cancer had returned in April, she received a handwritten get-well card from Allen.â¯"Thinking of you and praying for you,"â¯heâ¯wrote. "Will be giving Abbie bear a few extra hugs tonight. Love you & keep fighting."
The pediatric recovery wing at the hospitalâ¯is named after Allen's paternal grandmother, Patricia Allen.â¯After Patricia died during the 2020 season, the Bills Mafia led a fundraising drive that raised more than $1â¯millionâ¯for the hospital, most of it in $17 increments.â¯The fund has now reportedly raised more than $17 million.â¯Allen makes periodic and often unannounced visits to theâ¯hospital, and Abbie makes sure to pack her No. 17 jersey whenever she is there, just in case.
Allen connectsâ¯hisâ¯attitude toward fans, especially kids, to an incident he says took place after a San Francisco Giants game he attended as a kid. He and his brotherâ¯Jason, both at an age Josh refuses to reveal, were waiting outside the ballpark for a player, whom Josh refuses to reveal, other than to say he was not Barry Bonds or Buster Posey.
This player was the last one to make his way out of the clubhouse and into the players'â¯parking lot, and the Allen brothers were among the last kids waiting to be acknowledged. They wanted something, anything, to validate their fandom, and instead theâ¯player pulled his cap downâ¯--â¯in essence, refusing to wear the crown --â¯and looked the other way as the kids yelled his name.
"He could have at least given a high-five or a wave, a smile, a 'Thank you guys,â¯gottaâ¯go,'" Allen says. "I would have been fine with any of that. I'll never forget that as a kid; that guy didn't even look at us. Didn't even look at us. I was like, 'Can't be a fan of that guy anymore.' I felt so heartbroken, and I thought if I ever get to that spot, I will do everything in my power to make sure I don't do something like that to a kid, especially a kid that looks up to me."
Allenâ¯remains surprisinglyâ¯angry,â¯stillâ¯animated afterâ¯however many years.â¯The player who spurned Josh andâ¯Jasonâ¯in San Francisco, whoever he is,â¯might haveâ¯inadvertentlyâ¯helped to create Abbie McNett's best friend.â¯As Abbie calls out from the back seat to thank me for calling, Lou says, "Looking through her eyes, he's just another nice person.â¯She connects on a different level. She just thinks, 'He likes to do the same things I do,' and she doesn't see him as a superstar NFL player. She just sees him as someone she can play with."
AS SOON AS Captain Jerry found out why I was in Buffalo, heâ¯had something he needed me to see.â¯Captain Jerry runs the Queen City Bike Ferry, takingâ¯travelers across the Buffalo River from the inner harbor to the outer harbor and back,â¯a trip ofâ¯600 feet, about five minutes, $2 each way, Memorial Day to Labor Day.â¯I showed up in the late afternoon, the last run of the day, so instead ofâ¯going from point to point weâ¯just roamedâ¯the harborâ¯while Captain Jerry told of his life as aâ¯rare modern-day polymath -- as aâ¯veterinarianâ¯on a turtle-saving expedition in the Mediterranean, as aâ¯building inspector on Highmark Stadium, asâ¯now asâ¯a ferry captainâ¯pilotingâ¯around dredgers in the riverâ¯so people can go for a walk or a bike ride through theâ¯parksâ¯on the other side.
He pointed out the General Mills factory down the river, where they make Cheerios and Lucky Charms, and the shuttered steel mills that loom in the distance, relics of Buffalo'sâ¯rich history.â¯Captain Jerryâ¯was born here, lived all over the world and eventually came back, his life echoing Del Reid's contention that Buffalo is a city of natives. "If you live here," Reid said, "you were born here.â¯We are not a city of transplants."
Theâ¯tourâ¯wasâ¯just aâ¯lead-up toâ¯what Captain Jerry reallyâ¯wanted to show me. Heâ¯pointed the boat toward aâ¯brontosaurusâ¯statue in an outer-harbor parkâ¯and started laughing before he started talking. A "Zubaz" pattern No. 17 jersey is painted onto the creature, and Captain Jerryâ¯says, "You should take a picture of that for your article, then everyone will know even the dinosaurs here loveâ¯him."
A few minutes later, after a photo was dutifully taken, he said,â¯"You know what you should do?â¯You should write something bad about Josh Allen."
He said it like a dare. Aâ¯good-natured dare, but a dare.â¯It hung there for a minute as heâ¯keptâ¯his eyes on the river andâ¯the ferry pointed directly at the dinosaur.
"Why?" I asked. "Do you know something bad about him?"
Captain Jerry, handsâ¯on theâ¯wheel,â¯turned and looked at me, shaking his head.
"No, I don't," he said. "And guess what?â¯Nobodyâ¯does."
