I’ve Got a Dad Bod and Feel More Confident Than Ever

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Adam Lyons, a business consultant and investor. It has been edited for length and clarity.

At 26, I decided it was time to grow up — to stop partying, excessive drinking, and eating daily doughnuts. The changes led me to think I was pretty healthy.

But at 30, I had a health check, and my doctor told me he noticed some warning signs — heart palpitations and high cholesterol. It was a wake-up call.

I knew it was time to get in shape and decided to go all in. I got ripped, but another health scare made me realize I needed moderation. I’ve come to terms with the body I have now.

I was achieving all my fitness goals

In my journey to get fit, I hired a personal trainer, spent at least an hour at the gym every day, and ate chicken, fish, and vegetables.

This lifestyle lasted for about four years. At 6 feet tall, I got down to 167 pounds and was achieving the fitness goals I had for myself. I looked like your typical gym guy — lean and strong. At the time, I felt proud of my body and liked how it looked.

Completely unexpectantly, I had a stroke in 2018. Doctors told me I had exhausted and pushed my body too hard. I was shocked. I’d spent years living what I thought was a healthy lifestyle, but it turned out to be dangerous.

Months after my stroke, I passed out and severed two tendons in my shoulder. My body I had worked so hard to take care of, felt like it was falling apart.

I put on weight

Following my shoulder injury, I knew it was time to go gentle on my body. I didn’t exercise for a year, I put on weight, developed a big stomach, and had tiny arms. I felt self-conscious about how my body had changed.

Around this time, I talked with friends about how our bodies aren’t meant to sustain constant perfection. We aren’t 20-year-olds competing in body-building competitions.

What I needed at 40 was moderation. I needed to accept my age, and instead of trying to be super fit, just try to be somewhat healthy and active without going crazy.

I started to up my protein content, making sure 50% of my daily intake of food was protein — eggs, meat, beans, yogurts, and so on. I’m not on a keto or primal diet — I just eat a lot of protein to repair and preserve muscle. But I also eat carbs, fats, and dessert every day.

Although I didn’t need to get a six-pack again, I did want to be active. I bought some weights to keep in the living room, and I work out using them twice a week for 20 minutes. I just do the basics. I also sword fight twice a week at a gym, and sometimes with my five kids — it’s great cardio.

My strength now is functional. I can lift heavy things and feel strong, but I haven’t spent endless hours in the gym getting ripped.

I like my dad bod

Although I have what people call a dad bod, I have looked in the mirror for the last three years and liked what I see. I look like a dude, and I’m comfortable with the amount of energy I have put into looking like this. For the first time, keeping fit doesn’t feel like hard work or discipline.

My dad body doesn’t just look good to me — it’s very attractive to my girlfriend, who is 21 years younger than I am. She thinks my stomach is more comfortable to lie on, and our romantic life is alive and well. I never would have thought someone her age would have gone for someone my age, but she’s into me.

Adams Lyons’s girlfriend is 21 years younger than him

Courtesy of Adams Lyons

What I have found interesting is the response of men to my dad bod. I recently posted a photo of my body in my early 30s next to a photo of me now. Most women said I looked better now. It was men who got in touch to say I looked better before, when I was slimmer and stronger. They said to call them if I ever wanted to get back in shape.

I wasn’t healthy then. I don’t want to go back to that.

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