This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Britt Jones. It has been edited for length and clarity.
Since I was a little girl, I’d dreamt of my wedding — a beautiful celebration with all of my favorite people in one place.
A year after meeting the man who would later become my husband in 2017, we started dreaming together of the type of wedding we wanted.
It would have a “hippy” feel, like “Lord of the Rings” — something ethereal, in a forest, with twinkling lights and lace. We couldn’t wait to make the dream a reality.
Knowing what the celebration would cost, Conor and I started saving up, provisionally planning to have the wedding in the summer of 2025.
I found a wedding venue in the forest I loved. It would be over $20,000 for the day as a base rate, plus extras.
The dress I had my eye on was a vintage Vera Wang dress with a deep V-neck, fishtail, medium train, and flower lace. We also needed bridesmaids’ dresses, suits for the groomsmen, and a wedding cake. We were also looking at a honeymoon in Iceland.
It would all be expensive, but we were excited about a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to celebrate each other with the people we loved.
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We started to have second thoughts about an expensive wedding
We calculated that we’d need to take out a large loan, use thousands of our savings, and pay for things in instalments to afford it all.
When we added everything up, I thought about everything we could do with the money if we didn’t host such a lavish party. We could put a deposit on a new house, fix up our current home, or buy a new car.
We’d also given birth to our son in 2020, and I was pregnant with our daughter. Our priorities had changed since we initially dreamt about our wedding. I questioned whether the money would be better spent on buying what they needed and spoiling them without worrying about money.
In September 2021, when COVID still threatened to disrupt our wedding plans, my husband asked if we should elope instead. We had been discussing the wedding less during the pandemic, and we’d recently had a friend elope who loved the experience.
The more I thought about elopement, the more I liked the sound of it. It would be much less stressful and easier to plan, and we would save a small fortune.
Luckily, we hadn’t booked anything yet, making it easier to abandon our wedding plans.
Within a few months of planting the idea, we eloped at a registrar’s office
Our elopement was four years earlier than expected because we wouldn’t have to save the large sum needed for a big wedding.
On the morning, my friend, who would be one of our witnesses, came to my house to help me get ready. My grandparents came over, too, helping to get the kids ready. Connor went to the venue on the train, and I drove with the kids. My grandparents would have the kids while we were married and meet us afterward.
There were no wedding-day jitters, no nerves at all. I wasn’t worried about the schedule, drunken drama between guests, or looking a certain way for a photographer.
We read our vows to each other, making promises with only two friends present. I misspoke during the vows and didn’t feel embarrassed. Finally, we signed our marriage license and sealed the day with a kiss.
Afterward, my kids and grandparents met us for informal photos.
It was a relaxed day without pressure, hassle, or expectations. We only paid a few hundred dollars for the whole day.
As we expected, the money we would have spent on the wedding ended up going on the kids. We could get things like outdoor play equipment and not think twice about paying for it, as the money had already been saved.
If I could do it over again, I would have paid extra to allow guests to attend the ceremony at the registry office, because it would have meant a lot to have my parents and grandparents present to celebrate with us. It would still have been chill and cheap, but it would have involved the people we love most.
While I would have done the day ever-so-slightly differently, one thing I wouldn’t have changed is having a low-key, cheap wedding. It allowed me to enjoy the day, and I married my husband, completely present and stress-free.