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Every Hilarious Name in ‘Key & Peele’s ‘East/West College Bowl’ Sketches – 8881199.XYZ


Key & Peele has created many viral sketches, but few have matched the legacy of the “East/West College Bowl.” The sketches combined sports and comedy, with fake players reading their increasingly absurd names during a pre-game broadcast. The sketch was born from Keegan-Michael Key and the now Oscar-nominated horror filmmaker Jordan Peele talking about the latter’s love for the video game Madden, which is where he discovered player names like D’Brickashaw Ferguson, who would later appear in a sketch with the comedians.

The original sketch spawned two sequels, which followed the same format as the first and introduced characters to be used in future football-themed skits. The comedians’ success also allowed them to include real football players in their final sketch. The three skits featured many hard-to-remember names — 95 in total — all of which are included below.

The First Sketch Introduces Hingle McCringleberry

Comedy Central

The first “East/West College Bowl” sketch aired in Season 2, Episode 1, of the show in 2012, titled “Dubstep.” The segment begins with two football announcers, Geoff Worthing (Bill Seward) and Dave Sassin (Joel Meyers), introducing the upcoming match between the 16 East Team players and the 16 West Team players. They introduced themselves by stating their names and schools. Key and Peele developed several moving parts of these introductions, using the readings, the name banners, and even the images behind the players, allowing audiences to go back and find a new detail every time.

East Team Player

West Team Player

D’Marcus Williums

Saggitariutt Jefferspin

T.J. Juckson

D’Glester Hardunkichud

T’Variusness King

Swirvithan L’Goodling-Splatt

Tyroil Smoochie-Wallace

Quatro Quatro

D’Squarius Green, Jr.

Ozamataz Buckshank

Ibrahim Moizoos

Beezer Twelve Washingbeard

Jackmerius Tacktheritrix

Shakiraquan T.G.I.F. Carter

D’Isiah T. Billings-Clyde

X-Wing @Aliciousness

D’Jasper Probincrux III

Sequester Grundelplith M.D.

Leoz Maxwell Jilliumz

Scoish Velociraptor Maloish

Javaris Jamar Javarison-Lamar

T.J. A.J. R.J. Backslashinfourth V

Davoin Shower-Handel

EEEEE EEEEEEEEE

Hingle McCringleberry

Donkey Teeth

L’Carpetron Dookmarriot

Torque (Construction Noise) Lewith

J’Dinkalage Morgoone

⨗ (The Player Formerly Known as Mousecop)

Xmus Jaxon Flaxon-Waxon

Dan Smith

The written list here doesn’t do justice to the delivery of some of these names. Keegan-Michael Key does an excellent job with his voice, making a great dolphin sound for “EEEEE EEEEEEEEE.” The players also say their college, and while most are pretty standard, “Torque (Construction Noise) Lewith” says he comes from Nevada State Penitentiary. Dan Smith is the only white player on either team and the only one not played by Key or Peele. His generic-sounding name is made funnier by the fact that he went to Brigham Young University.

The sketch also introduces Hingle McCringleberry, who would later appear in Season 3, Episode 8. The sketch showed the character playing for a professional team called the Rhinos. Whenever Hingle McCringleberry would score, he’d start dancing before ending with his signature “three pumps,” where he thrusts himself three times. He couldn’t stop himself, even when penalized for excessive celebration.

The sketch was popular enough for the characters to come back next season, in Season 3, Episode 2, titled “East/West College Bowl Rap.” The sketch is introduced as Leoz’s dream, in which his East Team teammates perform a vintage rap, each delivering a line or two to introduce themselves. The West Team sees the video of Leoz’s dream and makes their own introduction rap, which is newer and fancier. The sketch’s big punchline comes when Dan Smith drops a fast-talking verse.

Sketch 2 References the “A. A. Ron” Substitute Teacher Sketch

Jordan Peele as Cartoons Plural in the second Key and Peele sketch about football names Comedy Central

The first skit was so popular that a year later, in Season 3, Episode 12, the “East/West College Bowl” returned. Geoff Worthing and Dave Sassin return to introduce the players during the pre-game festivities, and the sketch quickly gets rolling with Key and Peele’s classic comedy style.

East Team Player

West Team Player

Coznesster Smiff

Equine Ducklings

Elipses Corter

Dahistorius Lamystorius

Nyquillus Dillwad

Ewokoniad Sigourneth Juniorstein

Bismo Funyuns

Eqqsquizitine Buble-Schwinslow

Decatholac Mango

Huka’lakanaka Hakanakaheekalucka’hukahakafaka

Mergatroid Skittle

King Prince Chambermaid

Quiznatodd Bidness

Ladennifer Jadaniston

D’Pez Poopsie

Ladadadaladadadadada Dala-Dadaladaladalada

Quackadilly Blip

Harvard University

Goolius Boozler

Morse Code (“– — .-. … . -.-. — -.. .”)

Bisquiteen Trisket

⬥︎♓︎■︎♑︎ ♎︎♓︎■︎♑︎⬧︎ (“Wingdings”)

Fartrell Cluggins

Firstname Lastname

Blyrone Blashinton

God

Cartoons Plural

Squeeeeeeeeeeps

Jammie Jammie-Jammie

Benedict Cumberbatch

Fudge

A. A. Ron Balakay

The second “East/West College Bowl” sketch has some gags that might honestly be better than the first. The character who goes by the name “Fudge” is particularly funny because he’s the only one whose introduction doesn’t include a college. Despite his name, Harvard University went to DeVry University. Morse Code, who went Army-Navy Surplus Store, pronounces his name with the actual Morse Code for “Morse Code,” and Wingdings, who went to “online classes,” has his name spelled in Wingdings font. Firstname Lastname, who went to “College University,” has his face blurred during introductions. Jammie Jammie-Jammie is revealed by the hosts to be a Heisman winner. The final name, A. A. Ron Balakay (also not played by Key or Peele), is a reference to the famous Key & Peele sketch where a substitute teacher mispronounces names.

Aaron Rodgers as A. A. Ron Rodgers in the third Key and Peele sketch about football names Comedy Central

Two days before Super Bowl XLIX in 2015, Key and Peele put out a half-hour special of football-related sketches. In the special, the comedians included a third “East/West College Bowl” sketch, this time focused on pro players. The big twist to the sketch was that the comedians also included cameos from a few real players. The sketch starts the same way, although it has new hosts. Right before the introductions, one of the show’s hosts mentions that the players are the “crème de la crème,” which just so happens to be the first player’s name.

East Team Player

West Team Player

Creme De La Creme

Prince Amukamara (Real)

Cosgrove Shumway

J.R. Junior Juniors Jr.

Ha Ha Clinton-Dix (Real)

Faux Doadles

Doink Ahanahue

Fozzy Whittaker (Real)

Legume Duprix

Myriad Profiteroles

Leger Douzable (Real)

Busters Brownce

Quisperny G’Dunzoid Sr.

Turdine Cupcake

Grunky Peep

Rerutweeds Myth

D’Brickashaw Ferguson (Real)

Ishmaa’ily Kitchen (Real)

Strunk Flugget

Takittothu’ Limit

Stumptavian Roboclick

Snarf Mintz-Plasse

Cornellius ‘Tank’ Carradine (Real)

Frostee Rucker (Real)

Vagonius Thicket-Suede

Splendiferous Finch

Marmadune Shazbot

Triple Parakeet-Shoes

Swordless Mimetown

Logjammer D’Baggagecling

A. A. Ron Rodgers (Aaron Rodgers)

“East/West College Bowl 3” is more of the same, except for the fact that real players are included this time alongside Key and Peele’s characters. Ha Ha Clinton-Dix, Leger Douzable, D’Brickashaw Ferguson, Cornellius ‘Tank’ Carradine, Prince Amukamara, Fozzy Whittaker, Ishmaa’ily Kitchen, Frostee Rucker, and Aaron Rodgers had all been playing with pro teams by the time this sketch was released. Aaron Rodgers’ name is the only one changed to go with the joke seen in “East/West College Bowl 2” and “Substitute Teacher.” By including real people in this sketch, the two comedians demonstrate they’re not being absurd for the sake of comedy but drawing from what football introductions are actually like.

Where To Watch ‘Key & Peele’

Keegan-Michael Key as Logjammer D'Baggagecling in the third Key and Peele sketch about football names Comedy Central

The “East/West College Bowl” sketches are endlessly rewatchable, not only because they’re so funny, but also because they have so much relevance. College and professional football seasons come around every year, which means more opportunities for the sketches to come up in conversation. Plus, they’re all pretty easily accessible. All three versions of “East/West College Bowl” are available on YouTube, thanks to Comedy Central. The Comedy Central YouTube channel also has “McCringleberry’s Excessive Celebrations” and “Substitute Teacher.” The “East/West College Bowl Rap” can be found in a compilation of the “East/West College Bowl” sketches.

Most of the sketches can also be found alongside others in full Key & Peele episodes. The show is streaming on Paramount+ and is also available to purchase on digital retailers such as Apple TV, Prime Video, and Fandango at Home. Unfortunately, because the third “East/West College Bowl” sketch was part of a Super Bowl special, the full episode is not currently available for streaming.

Key and Peele Tv Poster

Release Date

January 31, 2012

Network

Comedy Central

Showrunner

Keegan-Michael Key

Directors

Peter Atencio

Writers

Keegan-Michael Key



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