THIRSTY WORK

Considering he is a lifelong Everton fan, it’s no surprise that Andy Burnham seems to be in favour of allowing fans to drink Tin at football matches. Bouts of boardroom turmoil, points deductions and assorted relegation battles mean the lot of an Evertonian is not always a happy one. The Prime Minister believes that if he and other fans fancy a sip or two to help ease the pain of watching Thierno Barry head wide of an open goal, then that ought to be their constitutional right as proud Englishmen. Sadly, no such right currently exists, as alcohol consumption within view of the pitch has been outlawed in the top five divisions of English football since the troubled times of the 1980s. Instead, thirsty match-goers are forced to endure an agonising wait of 45 whole minutes before rushing to the bar, joining long queues of fellow fans eager to buy pints of foaming shaft they must subsequently chug back, yard-of-ale style, in enough time to return to their seats for the start of the second half.

In a move some cynical folk have described as populist political grandstanding, Burnham has correctly pointed out that in not being allowed to enjoy a pint during games, football fans are being discriminated against compared to their counterparts in sports such as cricket, rugby and horse racing. “I don’t think it’s fair for football fans to be singled out in that way and I made that point,” he told a gaggle of reporters during a flight to New York. “That legislation dates to an era where football was very different and I do believe there is a case to remove that discrimination. There are different ways it could be done – it could happen on a trial basis. But I’m not going to back away from what’s been a long-held view of mine. I don’t see how it can be fair that some supporters of one sport can be treated differently.”

While Burnham has a point, reaction to the possibility of booze returning to football match stands has been mixed. While the sanctimonious bleating of “if you can’t last 45 minutes without a drink, then there’s something wrong with you” from the puritan brigade strikes Football Daily as reason enough for an immediate change in legislation and trebles all round, reintroducing alcohol could pose a logistical problem not previously experienced by the current generation of fans. Specifically, them being forced to repeatedly stand up and sit down again in order to make room for an endless procession of people going to and from the bars and toilets. While we’re not proud to admit it, Football Daily has attended enough rugby internationals to know exactly how annoying this can be.

The Football Supporters Association favours Burnham’s suggestion that allowing fans to bring an overpriced, flimsy receptacle of flat lager to their seats would massively enhance the matchday experience and the Premier League is obviously open to any idea that helps its members prise an extra few quid out of customers. The UK Football Policing Unit, however, is understandably less enthused. “Other sports simply don’t see the violence and criminal behaviour from their supporters that football does, albeit a minority, with alcohol often playing a significant part in violent and disorderly behaviour,” they harrumphed. “It would be irresponsible to fuel this by allowing greater alcohol consumption during games.” While alcohol consumption increases the risk of violent disorder, the recent box-park phenomenon of performative and celebratory pint-throwing almost certainly will too. Nobody wants to come home from a football match drenched in beer, even if the only alternatives are to stay at home or start supporting Spurs.

LIVE ON BIG WEBSITE

Join Daniel Harris from 7.45pm BST for hot clockwatch action in the Nations League with Netherlands 1-2 Germany, Portugal 3-1 Wales and more.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“Whenever they say they don’t want me in the national team, I will be the first one to go. When I think I am not adding anything to the team, or that I create an atmosphere, I will be the first to go. I will take my suitcase and leave. The Portuguese count on me. That’s why I’m still here … just look at the numbers, I’m sure you can make some calculations, I’m still doing well. The day they don’t count on me, no problemo, I will leave. I will always be the No 1 fan of this federation. It would be the cherry on the top of the cake to score my 1,000th goal with the national team. It would be the culmination of a beautiful story. I said I wanted to reach that target and I will reach that target. But I don’t have an obsession. If you are obsessed with something, you won’t get it … just enjoy. Carpe diem, enjoy the day.” – Cristiano Ronaldo is completely calm and not at all obsessing over the 21 goals he needs to reach the 1,000 mark ahead of Portugal’s Nations League match against Wales today.

FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS

Like anyone with a sense of football heritage, as soon as I read in yesterday’s Football Daily that Javier Aguirre had joined Valencia, I scrambled to see when they would play Anthony Gordon’s Barcelona. Sadly, it seems we’ll have to wait until the end of January for that particular reunion. Hey, fixture list, beep you” – Jim Hearson.

If Thomas Tuchel believes that 99.9% of supporters he bumps into do not talk to him about his substitutions during the Argentina game (Football Daily Tuesday), has he noticed a significant percentage of fans turning on their heels and walking in the opposite direction muttering furiously to themselves when they spot him? I would estimate that this could encompass approximately 51.8% of England supporters in his orbit. Another cohort, which I would put at around 37.6%, may break down weeping and gnashing their teeth uncontrollably at a missed opportunity to beat a limited and cynical Argentinian team, thereby missing their opportunity to congratulate Thomas effusively on England’s knockout win over Democratic Republic of Congo” – Dexter O’ Riordan.

If you have any, please send letters to [email protected]. Today’s letter o’ the day prize goes to … Jim Hearson, who wins a copy of Behind the Curtain by Big Website’s Jonathan Wilson. It’s out now and available in The Guardian Bookshop alongside loads of other great football titles. Terms and conditions for our competitions, when we run them, are here. 

• This is an extract from our daily football email … Football Daily. To get the full version, just visit this page and follow the instructions.