Inspirational thought of the week:
The falling leaves drift by the window
The autumn leaves of red and gold
I see your lips, the summer kisses
The sun-burned hands I used to hold
Since you went away the days grow long
And soon I'll hear old winter's song
But I miss you most of all my darling
When autumn leaves start to fall
-- "Autumn Leaves," Nat King Cole
Here at Bottom 10 Headquarters, located behind the triage tent reserved for people who thought they could just show up cold and keep up with a Jess Sims Peloton class and ended up blowing out both hamstrings like tires on a police stop strip, we are looking around us and all we see are the glorious colors of fall.
The red of the Western Kentucky Hillstoppers and the perfection of seeing Big Red playing football on black helmets. The orange of the Sam Houston Bearkats, who face Big Red on Wednesday night and will no doubt try to steal all the K's off all the WKU logos. The brown of Boiling Green, which just clashed with the green and gold of Sackreminto State.
The changing colors spreading across the landscape of the United States are a reminder of the ever-changing landscape of college football. A reminder that even when times are down, change is inevitable. A fresh start is on the way. A chance to renew. To one day rise again from the lowest levels of the ground.
But first, as those who make their livings in the Bottom 10 know all too well, there is the fall. Not the season. Just a fall.
With apologies to Washington State legend Ryan Leaf, Virginia Tech D-lineman Elhadj Fall and Steve Harvey, here are the 2026 post-Week 6 Bottom 10 rankings.
1. Charlotte 0-and-6ers (0-6)
Fun fact: Every Saturday when I return home from "Marty & McGee" and "SEC Nation," I use a moving sidewalk at the Charlotte airport that glides beneath a huge banner promoting 49ers football. Last week it dropped out of the ceiling and attacked me like flypaper.
2. Northern Ill-ugh-noise (0-5)
I have accepted the fact that just as I still look for Maryland basketball scores during the ACC tournament and still enter the old year on business forms a full three months into the new year, whenever I am looking for information about the Other Huskies -- and that's often -- I continue to click on the MAC and not the Mountain West.
3. ULM (pronounced "Uhlm") (0-5)
Ulm, ULM spent a weekend off at home in, ulm, Monroe, Louisiana, to rest up for, ulm, this weekend's visit from Louisiana Tech in Ruston, Louisiana, not to be confused with, ulm, their earlier visit from Southeast Louisiana in Hammond, Louisiana, or their Nov. 12 visit from, ulm, just Louisiana.
4. UTEPid (1-5)
The Minors went into the Pillow Fight of the Week of the Year (PFOWY) against then-seventh-ranked No-vada with much hope. Unfortunately, the Woofpack brought some of those pillows from the PFC: Pillow Fight Championship on ESPN8: The Ocho that are made of canvas, have handles and are swung by people who look like they are extras from "Mad Max." Nevada won 30-13.
5. Texas Toast (4-1)
The Horns hook the Coveted Fifth Spot after losing a Red River Rivalry game in which they were favored by a touchdown but lost to an Oklahoma team that had lost to Michigan, the team that occupied this spot the previous two weeks. Meanwhile, thanks to Steve Sarkisian's hypotheticals, I can't shake the mental image of 6-foot-10 Joe Smith, a 16-year NBA veteran, suiting up at QB for Texas.
6. Sackreminto State (1-5)
There are those who might think it is weird that Sacramento State is in the Mid-American Conference. But Boiling Green, which just beat the Sacks for its first 2-0 #MACtion start in more than a decade? The Falcons think that geography totally works.
7. Baller State (1-5)
The Ballers received $875,000 to play at Northwestern's new Ryan Field, which cost $875 million to build. ESPN Analytics gave them a 1% chance to win and they indeed lost 45-14. Meanwhile, Bottom 10 Analytics gave them a 99% chance of stealing all the Turkish cotton towels and Hermes Eau d'Orange Verte Perfumed Soap from the Ryan Field locker room.
8. Akronmonious (1-5)
Akron's visit to My Hammy of Ohio is merely the ore derves before the #MACtion main course over the following two weekends, when the Zips travel to 2-4 Bottom 10 Wait Listers In Waiting State of Kent, which will then turn around and face Sackreminto State in what could be our first Pillow Fight of the Week of the Year of the Century (PFOWYOTC) of 2026.
9. Mizzou State (1-4)
But first, the Bares host Kennesaw Mountain Landis State in this week's Pillow Fight of the Week. It might not quite be a PFOWY or a PFOWYOTC, but a PFOW it most definitely is, with another one looming just before Halloween when the Bears host the Bearkats of Sam Houston We Have A Problem.
10. In A Rut-gers (1-4)
This weekend, the Scarlet Blights visit Maryland in the Big Ten Have Ohio State And Michigan Sent Us Our TV Checks Yet Classic presented by JG Wentworth.
Waiting List: No-vada, Minute Rice, Boiling Green, Western Kentucky Hillstoppers, Sam Houston We Have A Problem, Ol' The Minions, Southern Missed, Kennesaw Mountain Landis State, Huh-Why-Yuh, Warshington State, losing play scripts by the hotel lobby breakfast bar.