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When my employer relocated offices from Los Angeles to Phoenix during COVID, I had a life-changing choice: leave the company or leave the city I’d spent nearly my entire life in and considered home.

I’d been at the company for five years, and it felt like I had invested too much time and energy to walk away and start over.

It was also the middle of COVID, and seemingly every day there was a new news article about the changing economy and rumors of companies downsizing in order to maintain operations. I wondered if I left, how long it would take to find work again.

Most employees at the Los Angeles location worked remotely. However, my responsibilities required me to go into the office. So, while the company didn’t say that choosing to stay or go would affect employment, I knew my role would likely change or be in jeopardy if I didn’t relocate.

Plus, I was the third most senior person in my office — my US manager had decided to leave, and the next direct manager was in New Zealand. No one else had decided to transition to Phoenix, so I thought this could be my chance at a leadership and management opportunity since the new location would be staffed with all-new onboarded employees whom I could guide and train.

I felt excited at the prospect of showing off my knowledge and abilities, so I took the plunge and chose to relocate to Phoenix.

I was dedicated to the cause

Courtesy of Nicholas Rosen

During the relocation period, I helped disassemble the office and coordinated the transportation of furniture and equipment while also searching for housing for myself.

Using my vacation days and my own funds, I drove to Phoenix to see several potential options before deciding on an apartment complex.

My company provided me a small stipend to cover half of my moving costs, and the remainder I paid out of my savings.

I quickly realized Phoenix wasn’t where I belonged

I had never spent more than a few days in Phoenix at a time. When I moved there full-time, it was the height of summer: June 2022. The extreme heat was miserable.

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I spent almost all my time indoors, in stark contrast to my life in Los Angeles, where I spent the summer outside exploring the city.

While some of the attractions were nice, they primarily focus on the outdoors and nature, with hiking trails and urban parks, but I wasn’t about to do that in 100+ degree weather.

I tried the few museums and art galleries that caught my interest, but found them underwhelming. They didn’t feel vibrant or active and had very few visitors when I went on the weekends or a US holiday. What I had hoped for, I suppose, was an opportunity to meet people with other common interests, but nobody seemed that interested in this kind of activity.

Moving in your mid-30s makes it challenging to meet new people and develop a core friendship group. I went to local meetup events and even joined a kickball league for a single season, but nothing clicked with the people I met. I was an outsider awkwardly trying to connect with others who had spent years or their entire lives here.

So, in the end, most of my time in Phoenix, I spent on my own.

The straw that broke my back and made me question my choice

I was willing to look past the weather and loneliness because these felt like minor sacrifices for the chance to grow at my company. However, when I was passed over for a promotion that came up eight months after I relocated, I realized I had made a mistake.

I felt like I was doing above average at my position. I was assisting other departments that had junior members. I was taking on additional tasks that were technically not my responsibility. That, on top of relocating, I believed I’d earned this promotion.

However, most of the company’s upper management was located outside the country, which made it more difficult for me to pitch myself for a raise and title bump.

When I was passed over, I even spoke to several colleagues about transferring to other departments where I could develop new skills and have different opportunities. Instead, I was told there were no openings, and I received no support from leadership to facilitate a transition.

Being passed over was a complete wake-up call for me

I had uprooted my life and committed to a company that I now felt had no continued interest in developing my skills or working toward my career growth.

No one said it directly, but reading between the lines and the subtle gestures told me that this was as far as I could go in the company.

It felt as if the company had never intended to help my career growth and just wanted me to stay in my lane and do the job I was hired for — no more, no less.

I quit and moved back home. Lesson learned.

Two weeks after I was passed over for promotion in February 2023, I put in my notice and started planning my move back to Los Angeles for March. Taking my final paycheck and cashing in my saved vacation time, I returned home.

I felt like those eight months in Phoenix had resulted in no accomplishments or personal growth. The entire time, I was just going through the usual motions.

It was a repeated cycle of chasing the 9-5 that I had slowly come to regret. I had saved a little money but had no new worthwhile experiences, friendships, or romantic relationships. I walked away with a valuable lesson, though.

I learned to prioritize my needs over those of the company I work for. Moving forward, I now seek a better work-life balance, and reflect on those days in Phoenix, so I don’t fall into that kind of life again.