If you told 18-year-old me that I’d be living at home at 29, I would’ve been embarrassed. By that age, I thought I’d be married with a baby and living in a home I owned.
But as I progressed through my 20s, that life looked less and less appealing. What I wanted instead was my freedom, to see the world, and to save money.
In 2022, my boyfriend and I decided to make this a reality. The lease on our San Francisco apartment was up, and we decided we were done spending $2,700 a month on rent. We wanted to put our dollars toward our travels, savings, and investment accounts instead.
So, I moved in with my mom in North Carolina, while he moved in with family in Florida.
Although this arrangement has its difficulties — namely, being long-distance eight years into our relationship — the tradeoff has absolutely been worth it.
I now save more money and have the flexibility to do things I love
Lily Voss
My family and I became very close after my father died in 2019, so moving back home was an easy decision. My younger sister moved back around the same time as me, and my mom welcomed us both with open arms.
Since my mom owns her home, we contribute in other ways, like paying the electricity, phone, and home security bills.
But even with these monthly expenses, I’d estimate that I pay nearly four times less than I did when I lived in San Francisco. I’ve also been able to build up my investment accounts and create an emergency fund.
Living at home was also beneficial when I was laid off from my job at a public relations agency in November. I didn’t have to stress about finding another job immediately, and I had an opportunity to pivot out of a career I didn’t love and explore other interests.
I love to travel and plan trips, so I became a travel advisor. I’ve also been able to pursue freelance work, which allows me to set my own hours and seek out clients and projects that excite me.
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At the same time, I’m also checking things off my bucket list. I just took my first solo trip to Iceland, hiked parts of the Alta Via 1 and 2 in the Italian Dolomites, spent a week in Portugal with my siblings, and wrote this from a café in Annecy, France.
Dating long-distance is difficult, but I’m grateful for the extra time with my family
Lily Voss
I’m not going to sugarcoat it — being long-distance with my boyfriend of eight years has been incredibly hard.
From missing life’s little moments to working through communication breakdowns and facing constant questions about our future plans, it’s a challenge.
However, it’s a sacrifice we’re willing to make right now so we can build the life we want.
Over the last few years, we’ve explored Switzerland, Italy, Spain, Quebec, Vancouver Island, California, Oregon, Washington, and more— often spending a few weeks to a month in each place. If we were still paying rent in San Francisco, these trips wouldn’t have been possible.
I’m also grateful for the extra time I’ve been able to spend with my family, and I recognize that living at home is a privilege not everyone has access to.
Unfortunately, in our society, there can be a lot of shame or embarrassment attached to moving in with your parents as an adult.
Although I’ve never felt this specific shame, I like to think of it like this: You’ll have 50-plus years of life to live on your own, but you only have about 18 years with your parents and siblings.
Having this extra time with my mom and sister is something I’ll cherish forever. I know this living situation isn’t permanent, but I’m going to enjoy and make the most of it for as long as it lasts.